[skai]

Ой! Только сейчас обнаружила, что я же еще не выкладывала фанфег!
То есть я, конечно, понимаю, по вингу уже читают мало, а тут еще и на английском... но несу все равно. Для потомков!

С названием напряг, кроме очевидного, ничего в голову не лезет, но очевидное банально до скрежета зубовного
Hints on 1x2, 3x4, Rx?; humour with a bit of romance; R for language and sexual references; the characters don't belong to me and good for them.
Betaed by Sekari Sumeragi, whom I couldn't thank more.
Warning: it's silly ))

It all started one fine day, or rather evening, with a thing as innocent as they come: the celebration of Relena's birthday. Well... considering it was a private party and there was a lot of alcohol, it probably wasn't the most innocent thing in the world, but still.
Until we all got so drunk that agreed to...
No. I'm telling it all wrong. It all started very decent, with the royal reception and high guests, wordy speeches and a ball which lasted until night fell, and then everybody was leaving, with Relena seeing them out.
Finally it was just the five of us left in the large brightly lit hall. Relena joined us soon, looking energetic and with a suspicious glint in her eyes.
"Now," she said, "Since the boring part is over, I want to have fun!"
"Yay!" Duo yelled immediately. "Where's the booze?!"

more

And so there we were, sitting in Relena's chambers, chatting, laughing and drinking, and it was wonderful, since we rarely have the opportunity to meet like this these days, with everyone being busy and absorbed in their own lives. The connection between us remained, though, and I think we all really missed each other. I know I did.
And then it happened. Duo clapped his hands and demanded we played a game.
"A game," Heero echoed warily.
"What game?" I asked, me, the oh-I'm-so-naїve-it-should-be-illegal me.
"I'm not playing any games!" Wufei announced, sounding scandalized. With it being Duo's idea, his alarm was fully understandable.
Trowa remained silent.
Relena, however, seemed to be delighted. "Of course!" She exclaimed. "We should play! It will be fun, won't it, Duo? What game do you have in mind?"
I noticed Wufei pouring himself a glass of vodka and emptying it in one gulp.
"Truth or dare!" Duo answered happily.
Seeing how excited Relena got I swallowed and wished for that vodka myself.
Duo and Lena, those two maniacs, regarded us like a predator regards it's prey.
"It's my birthday," Relena, the cunning diplomat said. "You have to indulge all my whims."
"PleeEEEASE!" Duo wailed, sounding more like a fire siren and clearly trying to make us say yes, just so he'd shut up.
I glanced at Heero and Trowa. As for Wufei, since he continued getting as drunk as he could, I concluded he'd given up already and now was simply preparing for the worst.
Heero looked half interested and half displeased, somehow managing to combine them.
Trowa looked... at me, actually, and smiled with just the corner of his mouth – a smile so small and elusive I wondered if I was making it out.
I still had a thing for him, all right. The more reasons not to play this game, as I for sure wasn't eager to declare it. Only God knows how Trowa would react, and I frankly...
"Fine," Trowa said.
I blinked.
Well... fine then.
Heero shrugged, and that was it.
Duo danced around the room, singing some crazy, apparently victorious, song. Relena smiled and settled down on the sofa, putting her hands on her knees like a diligent little schoolgirl. "Heero," she said sweetly. "Will you please start?"
Heero hn-ed her, but turned his attention to us nevertheless.
Duo dropped to the floor and watched the scene with big hungry eyes.
Trowa looked, as usual, rather indifferent.
Wufei observed the room with the serenity of Buddha.
I felt uneasy and trying not to laugh at the same time.
"Quatre," Heero spoke finally. " Truth or dare?"
Now, why has it always to be me?!
I regarded him carefully. While drunk as he was – as we all were – he was still... well, Heero. I couldn't think of a way he could confuse me with a question – that was more a Duo-thing – so I smiled at him and chose truth.
His eyes twinkled and I wondered whether I underestimated the guy.
"What was your last wet dream about?"
I gulped and stared. Definitely underestimation here.
"Quatre?" Relena pressed.
"Uh," I replied intelligently, and tried as hard as I could not to crimson. No such luck.
"Aww, Quat, you are adorable when blushing!" Duo cooed. "I guess I have to embarass you more often."
I gave him my best attempt of Death Glare (tm) which failed miserably, since I was, well, embarassed and blushing.
"Come on, Winner, fess up," Wufei prodded, making me give him a bewildered "et tu, Brutus" look.
"Uh," I said again and stole a glance on Trowa. He was looking at me with hidden interest and that small smile of his again, and while the look was somewhat flattering and the smile just pure delicious, I knew that instant there was no way I could get help there, no sir.
"Uh," I said for the third time and wondered whether my active vocabulary had reduced to this "uh" permanently. And whether that was a good thing.
Duo laughed. "Gotta give you credit for this, Heero. He looks positively stunned."
Oh, just you wait.
"Okay, okay, so it was about having sex!" I blurted finally, gaining my ability to speak back.
"Having sex." Duo gave me the look. "That's all you can say?"
I shrugged. "I couldn't see a thing, I was blindfolded."
Plain truth.
"Sex with a stranger, huh?" Lena winked. "Interesting."
I looked at Heero to see if he was satisfied. He just nodded, so I turned to Relena.
"Now that it's my turn to ask questions, my lady," I grinned, "I never said it was with a stranger. I perfectly knew who it was with."
The four of them gave out an indignant yelp, while Trowa just laughed softly. "That's a strategist for you."
I felt flattered again, really, but now was no time to relish the praise, I had revenge on my hands.
"Hey, Duo," I smiled, putting on my best innocent and naїve look. "Truth or dare?"
I felt him hesitate, but finally decide this angel-like creature couldn’t possibly harm him. Well, he’d just have to learn the hard way.
"Truth." He beamed at me.
I beamed back. "Of whom were you thinking while jerking off last time?"
His gasp was clear audible.
"Quatre," he croaked. "You are not supposed to ask such questions! You are not supposed to know such words!"
I laughed. "You just have no idea of what I'm capable of, do you?"
Duo raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Care to fill me in?"
I laughed again. "Sorry, not drunk enough. And don't you try changing the subject."
"Uh," said Duo pensively, sounding somewhat familiar to me. "Actually, I was going to choose dare."
"Sorry, too late." I gave him a mischievous smile. "You can always refuse to answer, though."
Duo visibly paled, apparently thinking about the evilness of the penalty I could come up with. "No, thank you."
I nodded approvingly. Good choice. "So?"
"Has anyone told you third degree interrogation might be your thing?" he asked ruefully.
I couldn't help but laugh again. "You just did."
"Oh, stop fooling around, Maxwell!" Wufei demanded. "I never thought something like this would make you shy!"
"Wait till it comes to you, justice-boy," Duo grumbled. "Okay, it was... Oh fuck, it was Heero, all right?" He glared at me. "Happy now?"
I glanced at Heero. Heero looked like a cat that ate the goldfish. "Yes," I admitted easily. "Come on, your turn now."
"Trowa." Duo said immediately. The look on his face was nothing but predatory. He clearly wanted to make me pay. "Truth or dare, man?"
"Truth," Trowa said calmly, unabashed.
Duo gave me a now-I'll-get-you smile. "Do you have something going on with Quat?"
I swallowed. I was going to kill him.
Turning to Trowa, I found him looking at me again. Then he smiled and asked just as calmly. "Do we, Quatre?"
I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. His smile immediately made me warm and cozy inside. "Not just yet," I said softly.
"Hey!" Duo glared. "That's cheating!"
"That's communication, Duo," I said, sticking my tongue at him. He sulked and glared at Trowa this time.
"Not just yet," Trowa informed him politely. "May I?"
"Go ahead." Duo pouted. "You've just ruined my revenge."
"Now, now, Duo, you'll get your chance," I tried to console him, but to no effect. I suspect my way too smug smile had something to do with it.
In the meantime Trowa regarded Wufei. I could feel a hint of curiousity coming from him. Then he just raised an eyebrow.
"Truth," Wufei said with dignity. Well, you had to expect that from someone with such strong longing for justice, didn't you?
Trowa folded his arms against his chest and gave a nod in our general direction. "Ever had sex with any of them?"
While Wufei scowled at the question, I had an odd feeling of actually not being offended by Trowa's referring to me as to "any of them". Then I got it – he was not referring to me. I felt very clearly that whatever the reason, I was out of the question, and that realization made me smile.
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Yes," he said grudgingly and gave Trowa a warning look. "So what?"
Trowa's answer was a light shrug, and I looked at Duo curiously. When this is over, we'll have a long talk... about if it was him Wufei spoke about. After all, Duo said it himself: third degree interrogation might indeed be my thing.
"Yui." Wufei announced his choice then. "Truth or dare?"
"Truth." Heero announced back proudly. He obviously believed he had nothing to hide so he was out of danger.
Wufei smirked and proved him wrong rather elegantly. "Still have a thing for a long hair?"
I've never seen the perfect soldier blush before.
So my wet dream question was avenged after all. I giggled happily.
And immediately earned myself a personal Death Glare (tm). Unlike mine back then, this was fully functional despite such trinkets as blushes.
Duo positively radiated with curiousity.
Relena laughed lightly and adjusted her locks. I winked at her, regarded Wufei's pony-tail and wondered whether it was Heero he admitted having sex with earlier.
A talk with Duo was definitely in order.
Heero grumbled. "That is a personal question, Chang."
We all laughed – well, Duo and I did. Wufei smirked, Relena giggled and Trowa actually grinned.
"No kidding," Duo mocked. "Did someone forget to tell you what kind of game we are playing here?"
"He did know that when he was asking me," I muttered.
Trowa checked his bangs. "Can my hair be considered long?"
"Go ahead and ask the expert," Lena advised, flashing Heero a smile.
"Hey!" Duo protested. "I thought I was the expert on this!"
"So? Competition is natural and healthy!" I quipped and laughed again as Duo almost whined at me.
"I'm not an expert." Heero scowled at Relena and then at Trowa, but neither of them was affected by the precaution.
"Is that so?" Wufei raised an eyebrow.
"Am not! I only just had two..."
He bit his tongue then. From the look on his face one could say he bit it really hard.
"Two? Two what?" Duo almost jumped impatiently. "Come on, Heero, I wanna know!"
"Wait till it's your turn and ask." Heero said, deadpan, clearly in no mood to spill his secrets any further.
"I can't, I still have to get back to Quatre." Duo grimaced.
"Just get him in the line." I laughed and caught an orange Duo threw at me evilly. "Why, thank you, I was thinking about getting myself something to eat."
Trowa gave me a smile and took the orange from me. "I'll peel."
I smiled back. "Thanks."
"I still want an answer." Wufei reminded and Heero resigned. "Yes I do."
The say-something-and-you're-dead look on his face prevented any possible comments from anyone who wasn't keen on commiting suicide here and now.
"Aw Heero, that's so sweet," cooed Duo nevertheless.
Not only didn't he die that instant, but all of us had a one-in-a-lifetime chance to see Heero's blush once more. Lucky day!
"Come on now, Heero," Relena gave him the sweetest of her smiles. "You're making the audience wait."
Heero fixed her with a stare, and I couldn't help but grin, recognizing it immediately. After being in the place of Heero's victim already... it was nice just to watch for a change.
"Truth or dare, miss Darlian?" Heero asked all too politely.
"Truth, of course," Relena answered without hesitation. "Really, you didn't even have to ask."
"It's the procedure." Heero replied solemnly and got himself a bunch of giggles. He glared at us then. We giggled some more.
He must've chosen to ignore us and turned to Relena again, eyeing her thoughtfully. His look could make a statue squirm. Relena remained perfectly relaxed, though.
"Ever kissed a girl, Lena?"
He certainly got into it, didn't he?
Relena laughed and looked really amused. "How did you know?" She demanded, not being embarassed at all. "’Cause I was sure that was top secret!"
"I didn't," Heero reassured her, while Duo grinned and Trowa gave me my orange back peeled. "So that's a yes?"
"Definitely," She laughed again and then noticed, "Wufei looks a bit green."
"He's drunk too much vodka," Duo explained, waving his hand carelessly. "So whom did you kiss, Lena? Will you kiss them again? Can I watch? Ooooh, we can make Wufei watch and check if he gets greener and then take pictures of him!"
Wufei choked.
Relena laughed so hard this time she almost fell off her sofa. "I'll think about it," she promised breathlessly.
"I love you," Duo proclaimed wholeheartedly. "Will you marry me?"
"All right, that's it," Wufei complained, putting his empty glass down. "I'm out of beverages, and even if I wasn't I'm not sure I can drink anymore. And I can't play this game without drinking, so I'm going to bed."
"Hangover will be a bitch," Duo promised sweetly, apparently giving him his improved version of "have a good night".
"Go to hell, Nostradamus," Wufei muttered, getting up.
"Shall we call it a night, then?" Relena suggested, smiling. "And you're all staying for tomorrow, I hope? We can have breakfast together."
We all agreed about breakfast and started getting up after Wufei, when Relena's smile turned mischievous. "And, Quatre, will you accomplish my last birthday whim?" she asked innocently. "Will you spend a night with me?"
I laughed. "Sure I will."
Trowa gave us a bewildered look. "You two are spending nights together?"
Lena winked. "Sometimes," She enjoyed his facial exprеssion for a moment and then giggled. "I mean, look at him. You just look at him."
Trowa did, and I felt myself starting to blush.
"He is so nice, and sweet, and beautiful, and strong, yet so slim and gentle, and indeed adorable when flushing," Relena went on delightedly. "Wouldn't you want him in your bedroom?"
Trowa's ears turned slightly red.
"See?" Relena pointed out. "He truly can embellish any room. Besides... this night I plan to gossip myself silly and he is like no other when it comes to listening."
"Gossip," Trowa repeated sounding relieved. "That's it?"
Relena giggled again. "What else would a girl want to do to him considering she's got herself a girl already, Trowa Barton?"
And with that she laughed, grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room.